Dunkin’, I never thought I’d see the day when the hipster trickle-down effect came to your Canton-based doorstep. Kolaches hold nothing but the most tepid of memories for me- first, snarfed down on one of the less traumatic family vacations in a rest stop, then, in Manhattan, snarfed at a small bakery in Clinton. Fast forward three years later, snarfed in the bed of a weird ex who, to my knowledge, now specializes in dumpster diving and ear plugs. Never date art students. Now, in my adventures in the South, Dunkin’ Donuts has seized upon my past adventures in Hershey, Manhattan, and Brooklyn, respectively, and brought the venerable kolache to Arkansas.Well. That was disappointing. Unless kolaches are birthed in a litter and I erroneously received the runt, this looks like the kind of food that would have penis envy from pigs in the blanket. A single dollar bill, or four quarters if you’re desperate, has serious clout in the fast food market. It can unlock the mysterious seduction of a McDouble or Double Cheeseburger if you’re one of those Burger King traitors, or purchase 2 cents’ worth of brain freeze from a 7-11. Hell, even Dunkin’ offers an array of donuts that would make even the most refined of sugar junkies blush.So why buy this kolache? Not ten miles down the road from my palatial hotel is a kolache bakery that sells monstrous kolaches stuffed with homemade filling for $1.85 and under. Unless you’re really, really into the idea of eating food that would be best at home at a funeral or a terrible cocktail party. Then, by all means, eat away.