Golden Oreos, you have come home at last. You were bland and played second fiddle to Vienna Fingers when you first came out on the market, and came into the eye of the public with your controversial, yet ultimately progressive Heads or Tails pairing. Unfortunately, you faltered with Birthday Cake Oreos, because nobody wants a vanilla-on-vanilla birthday cake. It wasn’t your fault. The descent had begun. Watermelon Oreo, Gingerbread Oreo, Banana Split Oreo, Neapolitan Oreo. Jesus, what were you, Madonna?
So, when the mystery package revealed Marshmallow Crispy Oreos, I assumed, correctly, that they would be the harder sell to their populist counterpart, Cookie Dough Oreos. While neither marshmallow, nor crispies, to my knowledge, have made it into Oreos thus far (Cookie Clerk, please cite this for me) it has a far more varied flavor profile and counts on the texture of the rice krispies to complete the homage. Either that, or it’s just supposed to look like one, though the middle did show promising signs of crispies.The texture is somewhat lost amidst the cream and the cookie, neither particularly crispy in texture as puffed rice would be. The few grains inside each cookie were promising, though, and added that malty, wheaty flavor so characteristic of the treat. Damned good.It doesn’t quite have that delicious, litigious brand name flavor of Mice Trispies, but the crunch of the cookies and the creamy filling does make it identical, both in texture and in sugar, to the freeze-dried marshmallows featured in Lucky Charms and Alpha-Bits. The sweet, floury flavor of Golden Oreos is the ideal base for the marshmallow creme. If you were one of those mid-aught’s Geekologie readers who bought a fifty-pound bag of cereal marshmallows ‘for the lulz,’ these are up your alley. I can’t wait to try them in milk, though I fear that if I do, obesity will become me in a gentle, saturated fate.