I am a member of the Collective Bias/Social Fabric Community. This shop has been compensated as a part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias and their client. Screw those Whitman’s Samplers and chintzy stockings- you want this Christmas present idea for your next shindig. Yes, I was paid. No, it doesn’t make this any less awesome.Guest Anxiety II: The Guest-ening is out now that Christmas is in season and people have forgotten Hanukkah. I’ve partnered with Walgreens and Collective Bias to create a wholly essential, utterly ridiculous hostess gift for the holidays. Ladies and ladies, and lost gentlemen, I present to you, the December Delirium Tremens. It’s 100% more useful than sriracha-bacon candy canes, and gender androgynous to boot. It has a few nifty gifties in its blanketed confines as a clever nod for the afterparty, or the day after. If someone brought me a hostess gift that was meant for usage in the party, I’d be miffed. I naturally assume, that like me, all host(esse)s have coordinated and planned everything for their parties in mid-July. It would be presumptuous of me to add something that could potentially clash. Incidentally, this is also why I end up bringing Carr’s Water Crackers and gin to every party I go to. I’m a hit at 8th birthdays.
Like all good gifts, we start with a card. It appears that it’s addressed to ‘gin.’Oh, darling gin. We had a rough time of it, didn’t we? Well, thanks to these Hallmarkian sentiments, I’m sure we’ll work something out. Moving on, we have Nivea cream for when your cheeks get chapped and your lips turn into two live geckos because you fell asleep on a wool runner. Well done, jerk. Likewise, there is also Aquaphor, for the aforementioned lips. Body scrub is included so you can remove the alcohol stank from your soft, puffy skin.I’ve also taken the liberty to include a mild, gardenia-scented candle from the duly terrifying “Patriot Candles” brand. Yes, it was the least offensive. No, I’m quite sure they were out of Malin + Goetz the day I went shopping. Hush. Also, this was in lieu of the votive that said, aptly, “Pray for Me.” It’s the reason for the season!In the edibles, we’ve a dandy Andy Warhol bottle of Perrier, and a box of Good & Delish dark roast coffee pods. Trust me, the last thing your drunk hands need is a full bag of coffee grounds for your bleary, bloodshot eyes. Finally, so that you don’t starve to death, Tic Tacs and a lemon and black peppercorn chocolate bar that both tastes delicious and subtly notifies people that you’re either into heavy kink or the 2005 travesty Monster-in-Law. Same result. I’m almost certain it’s made for Walgreens by Frey, a chocolate company I adored while in Germany. It has a bittersweet, woodsy base with tart zest and a powerful, spicy note at the end. Wrapped in a festive, neutral-colored basket with a vintage Burberry-print car blanket and a travel-sized bottle of Aspirin on top and you’re good to go.The damage? $25, down from $30 with my Balance Rewards card. Tell me that wouldn’t be a sight for sore eyes. Like my ideas? Check out Walgreens’ holiday gift guide for more.